


perfect imperfections.

by pyroallerdyce



Series: (not at all spooky) skywalkers series [october writing challenge 2020] [17]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, One Shot Collection, Prompt Fic, Short One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, october writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroallerdyce/pseuds/pyroallerdyce
Summary: Since they’d gotten married so young, they’d decided to wait a few years before they started trying to have a child.  But as their fourth anniversary approached, Mara started feeling pain in her lower abdomen, something which got progressively worse over time.  She didn’t want to go to the doctor but Luke finally convinced her to, and then her primary doctor sent her to a different doctor, and then there had been another doctor, and then another.  It had taken them nearly a year to get to the right doctor who had an idea of what might be happening, and today was the day that Mara got a diagnosis from her.or: Luke and Mara get some news.(these will really make little sense unless you read the whole series.)
Relationships: Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker
Series: (not at all spooky) skywalkers series [october writing challenge 2020] [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947904
Kudos: 14
Collections: October Writing Challenge - 2020





	perfect imperfections.

**Author's Note:**

> attempt to break my writer's block day 17. ugh.
> 
> so we have arrived at the super sad one. don't worry, no one is going to die. I couldn't do that. but it had to be explained somehow why there is only ben in the next generation, and this is part of how that happens. I'll be perfectly honest. I have no idea how I ended up with this as a throughline in these stories. I really don't. 
> 
> and as always, if you like what you read and you want to see more, please let me know via a comment or kudos or bookmark so that I know I'm not writing into a void. 
> 
> october 17: "Your imperfections are perfect. They make you who you are. I love who you are."

**1984**

Luke had wanted to enjoy their five-year anniversary with a trip away somewhere peaceful, someplace where they could forget about everything that was happening and just be with each other. But Mara hadn’t wanted that, she’d wanted to get the results from the doctor, and so instead of looking at some beautiful vista, he was sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, wondering what was being said in the room where Mara was in the back. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but Mara had been insistent that he wait out front. Luke knew he should have pushed back on that, but Mara had the fire in her eyes that he knew meant things would lead to a fight, so he didn’t. 

The last thing he wanted to do was fight on their anniversary.

Since they’d gotten married so young, they’d decided to wait a few years before they started trying to have a child. But as their fourth anniversary approached, Mara started feeling pain in her lower abdomen, something which got progressively worse over time. She didn’t want to go to the doctor but Luke finally convinced her to, and then her primary doctor sent her to a different doctor, and then there had been another doctor, and then another. It had taken them nearly a year to get to the right doctor who had an idea of what might be happening, and today was the day that Mara got a diagnosis from her. 

And she was in that room alone, waiting for that diagnosis. Luke hated that he wasn’t there for her.

He felt like he was about to lose his mind when the door opened and Mara came out. He stood immediately and went to her as she approached the counter, asking to make another appointment. Once her appointment for the next week was made, she turned and headed for the door without saying a word. She didn’t say a word for the entire elevator ride down, or during the walk to the car, and she sat there in silence once they were inside the car. 

Luke knew Mara inside and out. Whatever diagnosis she’d gotten, he knew that she was devastated over it.

“Take me home,” she finally said, so Luke started the car and began to drive home.

For the first ten minutes of the drive, the car was filled with silence. Not even the radio was playing. Luke was debating what to say when he heard Mara take in a sharp breath. “Mara?” he asked, but before he could continue, she spoke.

“She doesn’t understand why it took so long to get this diagnosis,” Mara said. “She said that I should have come to her first because she could have diagnosed me months ago and then done what is necessary to make the pain go away.”

“What’s the diagnosis, darling?” Luke asked softly, reaching for her hand.

“Endometriosis,” Mara said. “I don’t want to talk about it more than that right now. I just am devastated over what has to happen for the pain to go away.”

Luke had no idea what endometriosis was, but he’d let her tell him later. “What has to happen?” 

Mara swallowed hard as a tear slipped down her face. “A hysterectomy.”

That Luke knew of from when his mother had gone through one, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. The drive fell silent again, tears streaming down Mara’s face and Luke trying to find the words. “We’ll get through this,” he finally said. “You not being in pain anymore means more than anything else.”

Mara sniffled. “I don’t know how you can say that.”

“Mara, you’re suffering. You’ve been suffering for over a year,” Luke said firmly. “It hurts me to watch you be in so much pain. If this is what is necessary for you not to be in pain, then you need to have that surgery.”

“Then we can’t have children,” Mara murmured.

“You won’t be in pain if you have this surgery,” Luke said again. “I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“I’m not talking about this anymore,” Mara said sharply, turning to look out the window. 

“Mara.”

“Shut up and leave me alone,” Mara said seriously. “I fucking mean that.”

Luke turned back to driving, trying to process everything that Mara had said. He drove by memory more than paying attention, and by the time that they were home, things were starting to sink in.

In order for Mara to not be in pain, surgery was required that would leave them unable to have children.

Luke had always wanted to be a father, but he knew that Mara was dying to be a mother. She wanted it so badly that he knew that she had to be devastated by the news. But there were conversations that needed to be had now. Decisions that needed to be made.

Mara was out of the car the moment that Luke put it into park, and she took the elevator up before he could get there. By the time that he made it into the apartment, the bedroom door was shut and he could hear Mara sobbing. Trying the bedroom door showed that Mara had locked it, so he headed to the phone instead. His parents needed to be told, but at that moment, he needed to speak to his twin. Leia talked to him for nearly an hour until he heard the bedroom door unlock, so he quickly ended the phone call and went to the door, taking a deep breath before entering the room.

Mara was curled up on the bed in nothing but her underwear and one of Luke’s t-shirts, so he took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed next to her. She didn’t say anything as he wrapped himself around her back, sliding an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. “Hi,” he said softly, and Mara took in a sharp breath.

“I’m broken,” Mara murmured. “Broken and flawed, full of too many imperfections. You should want nothing to do with me.”

“You are not broken and everyone is flawed,” Luke said strongly. “Your imperfections are perfect. They make you who you are. I love who you are."

“Imperfections can’t be perfect. They can only be imperfect.”

“No,” Luke said, brushing her hair away to kiss her shoulder. “You are perfect, Mara. I want no one but you, and I want you just the way you are.”

Mara took a shuddering breath. “You can’t mean that. I can’t give you children. I can’t give you heirs.”

“I don’t care about that,” Luke said seriously. “I care about you not being in pain.”

“But you’re a Skywalker.”

“I don’t care.”

“You need heirs.”

“I don’t care about heirs. I care about you,” Luke responded. “Leia has one. That’s all that matters.”

Mara shifted around until she was able to look at him. “You mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!” Luke exclaimed. “Your health is more important than anything. You living without pain is more important than anything.”

Mara moved until she was facing Luke, and he reached out to wipe away her tears. “I love you,” he said softly. “And we’ll get through this.”

She sniffled and Luke pulled her closer, Mara burying her face in his neck. As she began to cry, he whispered soothing, calming words, running his hand along her back. Eventually, Mara stopped crying and pulled back, swallowing hard. “I don’t want to be in pain,” she got out. “I just...I don’t want to be in pain. So I...I...”

“I know,” Luke murmured. “And that is all that matters.”

“I’m sorry,” Mara mumbled. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Luke said seriously. “Absolutely nothing. Stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking right now.”

Mara nodded after a moment before putting her head on the pillow and closing her eyes. “Can I be sorry that this had to happen on our anniversary? I should have listened to you about doing this a different day.”

“We are here together, sweetheart. That’s all I need for an anniversary like this,” Luke said, settling his head on his pillow. “Do you feel up to going out to dinner tonight or would you rather order pizza like we did on our wedding night?”

Mara chuckled without opening her eyes. “I forgot we did that.”

“Mama insisted we got married in the morning. She did not mention that we would be too busy to eat during the day.”

Mara laughed fully that time. “That pizza did taste amazing that night. Do you remember where we got it from?”

“Yep,” Luke said, grinning when Mara smiled. “You want the same order as that night? Because I remember that too.”

Mara nodded. “Go order it now.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“It’s four o’clock in the afternoon,” Luke pointed out. 

“Don’t care. I’m hungry.”

Luke leaned forward and kissed her. “Then I’ll go order it.”

He climbed off the bed and was almost to the door when Mara called out his name. “Yes?”

“I love you more than anything, Luke Skywalker.”

“I love you too, Mara Skywalker,” Luke said, smiling. “You’re all I need.”

Mara swallowed hard. “You’re all I need too. Go order the pizza.”

Luke walked out of the room and headed for the kitchen so he could find the right menu so he could get the pizza place’s phone number. He opened the right drawer just as he heard Mara start crying again, and he knew that this was going to be a rough time for them both. But they’d find a way, just like they’d always found a way before, and things would be okay.

Things had to be okay.


End file.
